Can’t believe it’s nearly December. This year has, in some senses, flown by. This time last year I was unemployed and lonely, doing nothing, staying in bed all the time. Since then I’ve joined a Recovery College, started voluntary work, started a part-time job, moved house, moved in with my partner, started a temp job, sort-of joined a choir and started a contract job.
Recently I’ve struggled a lot with financial pressures and job stuff. I’ve started my latest job but, tbh, it’s a bit of a headfuck. I’m not sure I have the capability to do well.
I’ve been so stressed that my eczema has got out of control; I can’t sleep, I can’t go out. If I’m at work, I have to go to the toilets to scratch my itchy skin to shreds every time I get anxious. I went to the doctors (finally) and burst into tears immediately. I didn’t talk about my mental-ness though; I just finally admitted that my skin is too bad for me to deal with alone. I felt, and feel, ashamed that I can’t control my long term conditions. I should be able to by now. I’ve got about a billion skin-related prescriptions, but avoided all mental health ones. I don’t know why. I’m embarrassed to need antidepressants again. Maybe next time I’ll admit I need it.
I’m feeling exhausted all the time atm. Looking forward to the weekend. Hopefully I can just have a quiet one.
Boring ramble today. I feel like I have loads in my brain but I can’t get it out. I’m all clogged up. My brain feels like a blocked up sink and nothing can get through.
My Honest Recovery 